I'm a leadership coach and writer. I support women, people of color, and immigrants in tech. In my first career, I was a design leader at design firms, startups, and large companies including Disney and Facebook. I write for Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, and Fast Company and my book Make Space to Lead shows high achievers how to reframe our relationship to work. This newsletter shares updates on my newest book Hardworking Rebels: How to Lead and Succeed as Asian American Women and leadership articles & inspiration every 2-4 weeks.
Free Workshop: Create Your 2024 Intention
Hi Reader,
WTF, you might be thinking. Why is she already rushing us onto 2024? When I’m struggling right now and trying to simply get through the hecticness of December and crawl to the finish line of 2023.
Or perhaps that’s my own inner critic talking?
Wherever the voice comes from, I choose to embrace intention setting as a form of investing in my future self. And to respect calendars, I’m sending out this early invitation to join me and Irene Salter on December 21st so we can collectively dream and plan for the next year.
If I’m being honest, right now I need to dream in new possibilities. This last couple of months has been the most difficult period for me since the one hell year where I experienced 2 family deaths and a divorce. One of my top LinkedIn posts this year was people responding to my levels of exhaustion. Perhaps it was some authenticity cutting through the humble bragging of social media. Perhaps it’s relatable. My difficulty — as likely resonates for many of us juggling work and life — is continuing to be creative and keeping a business going while serving as single mom and primary caregiver to two tumultuous teen girls with health issues.
My Blog Post: The #1 Secret to Shifting Your Mindset
I remember during the dark days of that hell year telling my therapist that I was doing everything right — taking medication, eating healthily, exercising, spending time with friends, leveraging my huge support network — and yet, “I still feel like shit.” As a lifelong learner and devotee of personal growth, I was pissed that nothing seemed to be working.
But I was wrong. It was working, just not on my timeline. I've been described as impatient, and I wanted to see results RIGHT NOW. Spoiler: eventually, over the weeks and months of the year, things got better.
What helped me the most, as is shown by extensive research, is what my grouchy skeptic calls “that f*ucking gratitude practice.” No, I absolutely don’t want to be writing down things I’m grateful for each night in my journal or facing the eye rolls of my kids as I force them to do rose/bud/thorn as we go around the dinner table.
And yet… gratitude is the #1 secret to shifting your mindset.
In this article, share four practices that have helped me keep going (or starting) gratitude practices when I’m at my lowest.
1. Be hyper-specific
2. Keep it interesting
3. Establish a routine
4. Create a ritual with others
This month, I’ve re-started a daily practice with my partner (he's much more willing to try things and with 100x fewer eye rolls), where we share our gratitude for three things (thanks to Charlene Li for the inspiration):
- Something I’m grateful for
- Someone I’m grateful for
- Something I’m grateful for about myself (take that self critic!)
If you’d like more guidance, read my article The #1 Secret to Shifting Your Mindset.
Free Workshop: Create Your 2024 Intention
This is the fourth time that I've held this year end workshop. This December, it's planned for the winter solstice, the darkest day of the year. We’ve all navigated optimism and fears admidst technology advances, economic uncertainty, and global unrest. We’ll use this time to collectively take stock of what’s happened and look forward to a successful 2024. We’ll learn from the past and invest some time in yourself during this busy holiday period. In community, we will reflect on the year and set actionable intentions for your 2024.
Register today to join Irene Salter and me on December 21 at noon PST. Even if you can’t make the time, we’ll send a recording to everyone who registers so you can go through the process on your own time.
Register for Create Your 2024 Intention
We’re looking forward to being with you.
Wishing you space,
Tutti
P.S. P.S. If you’re curious, I’ve written about my past intentions: shapeshifting (2023), satisfied (2022), white space (2021), and grow (2020).
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Hey it's me, Tutti
I'm a leadership coach and writer. I support women, people of color, and immigrants in tech. In my first career, I was a design leader at design firms, startups, and large companies including Disney and Facebook. I write for Harvard Business Review, Business Insider, and Fast Company and my book Make Space to Lead shows high achievers how to reframe our relationship to work. This newsletter shares updates on my newest book Hardworking Rebels: How to Lead and Succeed as Asian American Women and leadership articles & inspiration every 2-4 weeks.
Hi Reader, Happy solstice! It's the longest night and shortest day of the year here in San Francisco. As a pragmatic optimist, I love looking forward to the coming days which only get more light with each passing day. Today, Irene Salter and I held our workshop on Creating Your 2024 Intention. We deliberately spent the first hour teaching actionable techniques that invoke introspection for 2023 as well as looking forward to 2024, including a mixture of neuroscience of goal-setting,...
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Hi Reader, I’m often a know-it-all. I can pride myself in being a good problem solver and I also love gathering evidence and data so I can make informed decisions. This morning, I heard a beautiful reframing when one of the investors at a top venture capital firm told me that when evaluating founders, he looked for learn-it-alls. He described the founders as having intellectual honesty and a driven curiosity around their business and product. My jaw dropped and I realized that I’d just...